We're On The Air
by Me
Summary: When Danny, Becky, & some guests are stuck in an elevator, Stephanie tries to host "Wake Up, San Francisco"


ON THE AIR  
  
"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but ten is too young to be a lifeguard."  
  
Stephanie Tanner, fourteen, didn't even have to glance over her shoulder. She chuckled as she  
reviewed her list of chores before the day campers arrived. She knew that could be only one  
person.  
  
"But, Mrs. Sampson, my Elizabeth here has already saved a life. And, there's no telling how  
many great things she might accomplish if she gets the chance. She's a very accomplished  
swimmer," Morgan declared. "But, of course, that pales in comparison to what she did a little  
over a year ago..."  
  
Stephanie shook her head. She had to walk over and say something. Elizabeth had ridden  
with their Uncle Jesse to get help the day Michelle fell off her horse and got knocked  
unconscious. But, first of all, Michelle's life hadn't been in danger, though at the time the  
possibility appeared to be there. Second, riding a horse to get help was far different than actually  
helping someone. Not the way Morgan told it, though.  
  
"You know, I've got an idea." Stephanie smiled sweetly at the resolute woman. "I'm an  
assistant with the day campers this year. I could use a helper."  
  
"Oh, I'm sure Michelle could do that," Morgan declared. "But you know yourself how brave  
Elizabeth was that day."  
  
Stephanie smiled. Her four-year-old cousins, Nicky and Alex, would be in her group. But,  
Michelle saw them all the time at home, anyway. They lived with their cousins, as well as their  
cousins' parents, Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky. And their dad, Danny Tanner, and older sister  
D.J.. And, their dad's best friend, Joey Gladstone. What a full house that was!  
  
Stephanie could understand why Michelle just wanted to relax. "Really, she just wants to be a  
camper." She decided to throw out something that would take some pressure off of her nine-year-old sister. "Michelle was at a circus camp for two weeks, too. She tried to ride a horse  
bareback, but she blacked out for a second when she tried to stand; luckily the tethers were there  
to catch her. She overcame the sudden fear of heights that came, but our dad said it might have  
triggered subconscious memories of the accident."  
  
Stephanie was proud of herself. Morgan was clearly thinking twice. Stephanie could ramble  
about anything. Of course, nobody - not even their overprotective dad - was concerned, since  
Michelle had overcome that fear and there were no other warning signs. Still, Morgan didn't  
know that.  
  
Morgan finally relented. "Very well. I'm sure you'll find plenty of uses for her. And, she can  
bunk with you and get plenty of tips. Maybe next year she can be an assistant like you."  
  
Elizabeth shot Stephanie a grateful look. Her mom didn't brag about her awards or insist on  
her excelling anymore after Michelle's accident. But, bragging about her lifesaving was almost  
worse at times; there was lots more pressure if something did happen. After she and her mom  
said goodbye, she turned tiredly to Stephanie. "Can we just make up some stuff that I did?"  
  
Stephanie shook her head. "Come on, I've got an idea for you." She led Elizabeth toward a  
busload of children piling out of it. "We're going to be on my dad's TV show, Wake Up, San  
Francisco' Friday morning. And, one of the reasons they're having people from our camp is  
because of Brianna."  
  
"Who's Brianna?"  
  
Michelle and Mrs. Wagner, Brianna's cabin leader, helped Brianna off the bus as they spoke.   
Brianna was holding Michelle's arm with one hand, and moving a white cane along the ground in  
front of her with the other. "That's Brianna. Hey. Bring Brianna over here. I got a helper for  
her." She turned quickly toElizbeth. "Have you ever worked with blind children?"  
  
"No, I haven't." Elizabeth was quite intrigued.  
  
"You'll love Brianna. She's really sweet, and she's your age. She does lots of the things you  
do, except she can't see, of course. She wouldn't be able to jump horses like you, but she can  
ride them with help. Brianna?" Stephanie gently took the girl's hand off Michelle's arm and  
placed it on Elizabeth's. "This is Elizabeth. She'll be one of the ones helping you this week."   
She made a note to make sure Elizabeth and Brianna bunked together.  
  
"Hi, Brianna. Are you spending the night all week," Elizabeth asked hesitantly. She wasn't  
sure if she should talk normal or not. A smile from Stephanie said that the normal tone she'd just  
used was okay.  
  
"Yeah, I'm really excited," the girl said, her head moving around as she spoke.  
  
Stephanie introduced Brianna to some other people, then helped her to her cabin. Once  
Brianna and Elizabeth were settled in, she skipped back to her station, grinning broadly. Now,  
Morgan would be happy Stephanie had put her daughter to work, and yet nobody would be put in  
danger by such a young person being in charge. Plus, enough of the other kids would help that  
Elizabeth would still have fun.  
  
Instead, Stephanie set about entertaining the day campers, helping with Brianna in the evening,  
and helping Brianna and the other campers and workers who would appear to be ready for the  
show. Simply get up early, go to the station, then come back. It would be easy, she thought.  
  
Then, they got to the studio.  
  
  
  
Stephanie and Michelle relaxed in the dressing room. Elizabeth was combing Brianna's hair.   
Between Elizabeth, Michelle, Michelle's friends, and several others, Stephanie hadn't had to  
worry about Brianna at all. Stephanie hoped this would impress one page, Phillip, at the station.   
He was only a couple grades ahead of her.  
  
She only wished her dad hadn't placed the dress outfits in their dressing room. Stephanie  
didn't feel like a camper in her dressy, royal blue blouse. And, Michelle looked more like she was  
going to a recital in her burgunday vest and skirt and white shirt. They were on a professional  
show, but they were on as campers, for goodness sake!  
  
Suddenly, as Nicky and Alex walked into the room - at least they got to wear jeans and camp  
t-shirts - the building shook slightly. They tumbled over each ofther and fell to the ground.  
  
"That was fun," shouted Alex.  
  
"Do it again, Stephanie," chimed Nicky.  
  
Stephanie laughed. "Boys, that was just a mild earthquake." She grinned. It had only lasted a  
couple seconds. So, it wasn't much. Californians were used to small rumbles at times. This one  
had just been a bit bigger. It was certainly nothing like that huge one that happened when she was  
seven.  
  
Mr. Strowbridge - her dad's boss - peeked into the dressing room several minutes later. "Hey  
your dad's on in five minutes. Anyone know where he is?"  
  
"Last I heard, he was going down to meet the other guests, then coming up in the elevator."   
Stephanie's eyes widened slightly as she turned toward Michelle. The younger girl was applying  
the makeup used to keep Danny's face from getting too shiny. She was forbidden from wearing  
makeup at home. However, this was a little different than her sisters' makeup. "Michelle...you  
haven't seen him, have you?"  
  
"No, why?"  
  
Stephanie sighed. Some days, she would give anything to be as oblivious to things as a nine-year-old. She grabbed her sister's hand. "What about Aunt Becky?"  
  
"Wasn't she coming up with Dad?"  
  
Stephanie told herself to remain calm. However, on the inside, she started sweating. She  
always needed to know what was happening. But, that was made worse now. She knew the  
show had no hosts.  
  
She pulled Michelle out of the dressing room. "Elizabeth, keep Brianna busy for a few  
minutes till we call for you. Mr. Strowbridge, there aren't any other reporters around, are there?"   
Mr. Strowbridge told her they were all out reporting on the quake and the resulting downtown  
accidents.  
  
Stephanie rolled her eyes. "That's what I thought. Is the elevator working?" It was stuck.  
  
Michelle asked where Stephanie was taking her. The teen simply dashed into the studio. As  
she suspected, only the stage crew was on hand. They looked as clueless as Michelle.  
  
Stephanie was determined to make the best of a bad situation. She knew it just wouldn't do to  
have a blank screen come up when everyone expected "Wake Up, San Francisco" to begin. She  
also knew that any delay could mean big problems.  
  
She asked Michelle to sit in their dad's seat on the right side of a couch. This sofa was used  
by the hosts at the start of the show. She took their Aunt Becky's spot. "What's going on,"  
Michelle wondered as Stephanie pinned a tiny, nearly invisible microphone on her. "Isn't Dad  
supposed to be here pretty soon?"  
  
"Michelle, Dad and Aunt Becky are caught in the elevator. They'll be out soon, I'm sure.   
But, people who turn this show on have to see someone who knows a little about what to do."   
Stephanie placed her own microphone on as the cameraman signalled that they were one minute  
away from show time. She realized she'd been rambling a little. She closed her eyes and took a  
deep breath.  
  
"Steph," blurted Michelle, "the only thing I've ever done is sit in a cardboard box and read the  
Morning News at Night."  
  
"Don't worry, just remember, keep smiling. Let me handle everything." In other words, don't  
turn this into an embarrassment, she thought to herself. "Oh, and no matter what, there is one  
important rule. No dead air," came the older sister's emphatic voice. The thirty second mark  
came and went.  
  
They had both heard the term many times. Dead air meant complete quiet. It was the media  
person's worst nightmare. Once it occurred, people stopped paying attention. And once attention  
wandered, it was very hard to get it back.  
  
A voice from offstage sounded. "Sure you're ready? We could try a tape or..."  
  
Stephanie nodded. She was too excited to consider anything else. She placed an earplug in  
her ear, and another in Michelle's. The younger sister giggled, saying it tickled. "Ten seconds,"  
came the voice.  
  
"We can do this," Stephanie coached herself.  
  
Her stern, concentrating face brightened into a smile as the cameraman counted down the last  
few seconds. Displaying her usual perkiness, Stephanie beamed for the camera. "Good morning,  
everyone, it's time to wake up, San Francisco! No, Rebecca did not find the fountain of youth.  
I'm Stephanie Tanner, filling in for her."  
  
Her leg touched Michelle's, which the young girl took as a cue to speak. "And I'm Michelle  
Tanner. I'm glad this isn't a school day. One of you would have to call Frazier Street Elementary  
and say that my dad can't call to tell why I'm late. But, if they'd turned on Channel eight they'd  
find out."  
  
Stephanie grinned and spoke saracastcally. "Thank you for sharing that with us, Michelle.   
Your regular hosts are presently predisposed, but they'll be back shortly."  
  
Trying to ensure there was absolutely no pause, Michelle jumped in quickly. "They're  
between the second and third floors of this building. While we're waiting for them, our first guest  
is the head of Camp Joaquin. Joel Smithson is..."  
  
"...between the second and third floors as well," Stephaine interrupted her. She didn't want to  
raise anyone's hopes. She knew the adult guests could be up any second. However, they were  
very busy. It was possible one or both would have to leave before appearing.  
  
Then, the thought hit her. She had been so excited, she hadn't realized what Mr. Strrowbridge  
meant. Oh, no she thought, we'll hardly have any guests!  
  
She quickly spewed forth, "We do have a number of campers with us, though, during this  
special Camp Joaquin Day, including our first ever blind camper... that is, the first ever at Camp  
Joaquin. So, we can promise you guests." She almost said "some guests," but that would make it  
sound like they were really reaching to find anyone. She wondered how her dad ever ad libbed so  
well. What have I gotten myself into now, she asked herself.  
  
"Steph, you were going to interview our second guest. Who is she," Michelle wondered as  
she turned toward Stephanie.  
  
Stephanie wished Michelle had phrased the question differently. She knew from Journalism  
class that a question like Michelle's could make people think that the person was a nobody.   
However, this guest was a very famous author of books for teens.  
  
Stephanie explained who the second guest was to be. She remarked that she, too, was  
between the second and third floors. Blurting something out as she commonly did, she  
proclaimed "they'll probably all just come falling out of the elevator at once."  
  
Did I say that? It sounded a little like one of Dad's jokes, but I shouldn't make viewers think  
our equipment doesn't work. That's not professional.  
  
Recovering from her flub, she told the audience who the last guest would be. "He's also  
unavailable at the moment. Before you say he's also between the floors, it's actually his fifty-foot  
ball of string which makes him noteworthy. And, there's no way that can fit on the elevator."  
  
Michelle couldn't resist cracking a joke. "It's being chased by a hundred foot tall kitten."  
  
Stephanie began to guffaw. She barely resisted the urge. Instead, a sudden gust of air came  
from her mouth. She reminded herself they had to continue stalling. At least that sounded a lot  
like one of Dad's quips. If she isn't too juvenile, the audience shouldn't mind, she pondered.  
  
She tilted her head toward Michelle. "You sure take after Dad with those jokes. Just for that,  
you're doing the weather after this break." Focusing on the camera once more, she told the  
viewers that they would see an excellent show.  
  
Once the "on the air" sign went off, Stephanie turned toward Michelle. She struggled between  
talking to her and going to prepare their few guests for what was to come. She decided she could  
trust Michelle to do something simple like the weather - at least, she hoped she could.  
  
"That was okay, but try to be a little more serious here." She took the weather forecast from  
an intern. She handed it to Michelle. "Go into as much detail as you can. I'll be right back with a  
couple guests and a game plan."  
  
  
  
Stephanie tried to think as she rushed off the set. She'd always been excitabe, and because of  
that, she sometimes leaped way before she looked. But, in her haste to do something, she'd  
leaped into a far worse predicament then she could recall.  
  
As she rounded the corner, she met Elizabeth and Brianna. "I have to show her to the  
bathroom," Elizabeth explained. "Mr. Strowbridge showed me where it was."  
  
"Couldn't you do that later?" Elizabeth shook her head as they kept walking. "Look, just  
come back to the set as quickly as possible. Everyone's trapped in the elevator, and you guys are  
our only hope for..." She paused a moment. Nicky and Alex were here, too. Weren't they?  
  
She craned her neck. Where were they again?  
  
"Yikes!' Nicky giggled at her as he popped out from behind a camera. "You scared me."  
  
"Alex is looking for me."  
  
Stephanie held out her hands. "This is not the place to play hide and seek. Now, come on, I  
guess we'll have to use you guys first." She wished her Uncle Jesse or Joey hadn't left for a  
while. But, they woudn't be back until it was time to load up the van to go back to camp. Becky  
was supposed to watch the twin four-year-olds, while Brianna's mother was also going to be on  
the show with her. Of course, that plan was now out the window.  
  
Stephanie began calling for Alex. Suddenly, she gasped. The commercial was over, and  
Michelle was speaking. She grabbed Nicky's hand and rushed around looking for Alex. For  
once, she thought, I wish commercials lasted a lot longer.  
  
  
  
Michelle grinned broadly. She was thankful that she had such a bright smile. She'd heard that  
her late mother's grin could brighten a room just because she walked into it. She hoped she could  
do the same for their viewers.  
  
She noticed Mr. Strowbridge watching in the background. She heard him mumble in her  
earpiece before she went back on the air. "Why is there a nine-year-old in the anchor's seat?"  
  
The cameraman quickly spoke "up in ten" into her earpiece. She swiftly thought about the  
weather. She had no time to fear.  
  
The nine-year-old's face was transmitted into many San Francisco homes, and onto the  
monitor where Stephanie watched. "Welcome back, San Francisco. I hope you're wide awake  
now. Your normal hosts are still between the second and third floors, but Stephanie's bringing  
some very special guests."  
  
She read the weather as it was written on the page in front of her while Stephanie was realzing  
what was happening. "We'll have a high of 75 in the inland area. It's going to be only in the  
upper sixties in some parts. Right now it's only 30 degrees away from a record high. We'll keep  
you posted." If she had to, she would announce every time they went up a degree. After all, one  
never knew when a record high could be reached.  
  
She saw no signs of Stephanie, so she kept rambling. "You know, my dad used to be a  
sportscaster. He tells me the Giants had commercials where they compared the fans to people  
who explored the North Pole."  
  
She glanced down for a milisecond. She kept glancing over at the producer, who urged her to  
keep talking. Even after the three-day forecast, she still needed to keep talking. They couldn't  
find Alex, she heard in her earpiece.  
  
She tried to think of how to draw peoples' attention. What else could she do? She had no  
news or sports in front of her. There were no guests yet. She couldn't turn to Stephanie. She  
had talked all about the weather. The only thing left was...a commercial! Of course!  
  
"Now, maybe some night, you'd like to go out to eat. If you want to go somewhere nice, my  
Uncle Jesse - that's your co-host's husband - owns a great place called the Smash Club. I like it  
best for the ice cream. My sisters like it best for the music. And my dad likes it best because the  
people Jesse has running it make sure the music and comedy is always clean."  
  
She saw a signal from the corner of her eye. Good, she's finally coming. "You can take very  
young children there, and they won't come home with a potty mouth. Uncle Jesse has two young  
boys of his own; he knows what parents like best. And..."  
  
She paused, then decided to say it. Her closest friends agreed with her, so she didn't need to  
worry about embarrassment there. And, while she didn't always like to admit it to her dad, that  
didn't matter because he probably couldn't hear her.  
  
"My dad's stuck in an elevator, so he probably can't hear this. But, I think it's good to keep  
away from that vulgar stuff. I don't like it. Lots of it is really mean, and I like to be nice." She  
wondered why the word "editorial" had suddenly appeared on her monitor. "It's bad to have a  
potty mouth; we should be nice to each other. That's why I can't stand that stuff. It puts ideas in  
my mind that I don't like. It gives you a bad attitude!"  
  
Stephanie hurried into her seat and flashed a quick smile. "That was Michelle Tanner's  
editorial comment, and the views and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of the  
station."  
  
"Well, they should," proclaimed Michelle bluntly.  
  
Blushing, Stephanie pointed to the red "On Air" sign. She prayed that they had the tape ready  
she wanted. She knew her dad had mentioned something about it. "Why don't we show that  
little blurb about Camp Joaquin while Nicky and Alex get situated." And while I lecture Michelle  
again, she thought to herself. The "On the Air" light went off.  
  
Stephanie breathed a sigh of relief, then glared at Michelle for a second. "Michelle, you just  
gave the Smash Club free advertising!"  
  
"What's that mean?" Michelle asked while she invited Nicky and Alex to sit her her lap.  
  
Both tots tried to fit as Stephanie spoke. She lowered her voice and held out her hands. She  
tried to explain in simple language. "When a business wants to put an ad on, they have to pay the  
station money. They get that money back by having more customers come in than would have  
come if they hadn't run the ad. When you talked about Uncle Jesse's club, you hurt the station  
because they didn't get any money for it."  
  
Michelle gulped. She'd wanted to impress everyone - especially her big sister. She frowned.   
"They won't be mad at me, will they."  
  
Stephanie quickly loosened her gaze. "I don't think so, it was a one time thing. And I bet  
Uncle Jesse will give them some money anyway. Just don't do it again," she warned her. "If you  
want to do a sudden commercial, flash an add' symbol."  
  
She crossed two fingers to look like a plus sign, then turned to the producer. "If she does this,  
say one of our sponsors in her ear. Use a brand of ice cream, or anyplace that serves it." She  
didn't plan to be away again, but the way today had gone, it was possible. And, Michelle could  
talk all day about ice cream.  
  
Michelle was glad Stephanie was helping her. She was right. Michelle could say a lot of  
things about ice cream. "You got it."  
  
"One more thing, Michelle." The younger girl raised her eyebrows. "A good journalist  
doesn't just start telling everyone what's on their mind."  
  
Michelle couldn't understand that. She was just being like the ones she knew. "Steph, Dad  
does that all the time. Aunt Becky even cries a little because she's so happy at some of these  
Emergency Heroes parts. You know, that segment where they talk about people who save  
lives?"  
  
Stephanie wished she didn't have to have one of her big sister to little sister talks here. There  
was precious little time left. Unfortunately, she did. "Michelle, on a show like this saying an  
animal looks cute or feeling excited about a hero are okay. Telling one thing your child did is  
fine. Most people will even agree with one comment about foul language, like the potty mouth  
one. But don't go on talking for fifteen seconds about it. And never use the first person I.'"  
  
"What should I use?" Michelle asked for a pen. She got one, and jotted notes on her copy of  
the weather forecast.  
  
Stephanie hummed. "How about this reporter.' Or we,' when you talk about the show."  
  
"Sounds good to me. What do we do next?" she asked, not noticing that the "On the Air"  
sign had just flashed on.  
  
"Hi, everyone. Well, wasn't that perfect timing? We promise a great show about Camp  
Joaquin." Even if that's all we can talk about, Stephanie thought to herself.  
  
Michelle looked strangely at her. "Don't you mean this reporter' promises?'"  
  
Stephanie showed all her teeth, her faked grin was so broad. "Isn't she adorable? Well, here  
we have two more adorable children, Becky's kids Nicky and Alex Katsopolis." She lifted Alex  
onto her lap while Michelle held Nicky. "How did you like camp this week?"  
  
"I met a nice girl," Nicky declared. Alex said the same thing.  
  
Stephanie nodded. She was on a roll now. "Camp Joaquin is a lovely place to make friends.   
Frends of all kinds." She planned to lead into talking about Brianna, who would be there any  
second.  
  
"I'm gonna marry Suzie," Nicky interrupted.  
  
As Stephanie opened her mouth to speak, Alex said, "Hey, I'm marrying a Suzie, too."  
  
"Good, I like it when we do things together," Nicky finished.  
  
"Don't they just major in cute at that age. They're almost five." Stephanie glanced over and  
motioned Elizabeth to bring Brianna onto the set. The girls had grabbed some bags of M&Ms  
and were eating them slowly. "But, we've got more special things than that in store for you. You  
see, we had one very special resident at camp this week. Her name is Brianna Jorgensen, and she  
is totally blind. Say hi,' Brianna."  
  
Elizabeth directed her toward the camera. "Hi. Am I on TV?" the girl said with a hint of awe.  
  
"That's right, Brianna. Elizabeth has been one of her biggest helpers all week. She hadn't  
worked with blind children before, but she has been getting much better every day. Of course, all  
the kids have been great, and so have the counselors, but the counselors are all you know where.   
Between the second and third floors...."  
  
"That's her," Alex exclaimed.  
  
Stephanie grinned thankfully. Before thinking of who else it might be, she sai, "great, thaere's  
one of the counselors now. Come on up."  
  
Only when the person ran up onto the stage did Stephanie realized her gaffe. She gasped.   
That was no counselor!  
  
"Silly Stephanie. That's Suzie," Alex said.  
  
"Ha, ha, of coure, I'm being silly." And not too professional. "Of course, this is Suzie, one of  
the day campers."  
  
Nicky waved. "Hi, Daddy. Hi, Uncle Joey." He then looked into the camera and said "I'm  
marrying her."  
  
"No, I am," Alex said.  
  
Nicky pulled out a dime. "I'll flip you for it."  
  
Jesse and Joey came running onto the set to get Suzie as Stephanie anxiously tried to silence  
them with her hands. "Boys, boys, you can't base a major life decision on the flip of a coin,"  
Jesse declared, not looking at the "On the Air" sign.  
  
"She's right," Joey said, "you've gotta do rock, paper, scissors."  
  
"Uh...this is my Uncle Jesse Katsopolis and my dad's best friend Joey Gladstone. Turn toward  
the camera and say hi," she insisted, hoping they would get the hint.  
  
Jesse, accustomed to his recording studio, caught the hint and backed off camera. Joey,  
however, was too silly. He turned and waved slightly. "Hi." He was too engrossed in his fun to  
pay attention. "You remember Rocky the Rock," he said in a very low voice. In sneaky, Russian-villian type voice he said "then there is Ivan Scissors-ov." Impersonating John Wayne, the  
professional comedian said "and then there's Pancho the Paper, Pilgrim."  
  
Stephanie could see Mr. Strowbridge groaning on the sidelines. She tried to draw the  
attention back to Camp Joaqin, since that was the theme for the first half of the show. "You did  
some great skits for the campers Wednesday night, Joey. Maybe you could tell us about them."  
  
"Why, sure. I loved camp when I was a kid," Joey remarked.  
  
"You think you still are a kid," Jesse stated. "Rock, paper, scissors, indded," he mumbled.   
Since Joey was going to act silly on the air, he would get into the act. Besides, he wanted his kids  
to know how to really play that game.  
  
"You know, that is actually a very action-packed game, the way I do it." Joey turned toward  
the camera and began to speak. Stephanie wasn't sure if she wanted this on the show, but at least  
it would be entertaining. "See, rock is the tough guy. It can fly right through the paper. The  
paper covers the scissors. And the scissors, being the sneaky villains, can easily plant a  
tracking device in the rock, set to go off unless our hero the paper can defuse it..."  
  
Jesse rolled his eyes, forgetting he was on the air himself. He glared at Joey. "Joey, what  
in the world are you talking about? That's not how it works at all. Scissors cut paper, rock  
smashes scissors, and paper covers rock."  
  
"Did the Flintstones have wallpaper in their cave? No," Joey declared.  
  
"I'm not talking about the Flinstones. Paper covers rock, it can't cover scissors," Jesse  
emphasized, gesturing with his hands.  
  
Stephanie stood. She didn't want the audience to forget their real guests. But, first, she  
needed to remind these two that she was there, and where they were. "Paper can cover walls if  
it's big enough," she noted.  
  
"True," Jesse said. Before she could get any mroe words in, though, he turned back to Joey.   
"But the important thing is, scissors cut the paper. Boys, do the scissors in your school cut  
paper," he asked Nicky and Alex.  
  
Stephanie tried to make herself noticed again. "The scissors I had at that age never cut  
anything."  
  
Jesse nodded slightly. "Okay, but ordinarily scissors cut paper. See, Joey?"  
  
Joey held up a finger. Stephanie could tell there was no hope now - these two were into it like  
an expert comiedy team. "Ah, but the paper can cover up the scissors so you can't find them to  
cut. As I'm sure we've all experienced." Stephanie simply sat and tried to enjoy it, while  
wishing they could get back to the program. At least Brianna's enjoying this, she thought to  
herself.  
  
Jesee tried to use Joey's logic. "Well, think, Joey, maybe there was no paper covering the  
Flintstone's walls because it all got cut by the scissors!"  
  
"No," Joey said, shaking his head, "because if the Flintstones had wallpapered their cave, the  
wallpaper could easily cover the scissors until the Flintstones were done papering." He held a  
finger to his chin. "Unless a rock got thrown through the paper at just the right spot..."  
  
"Come on, Joey, kids on every playground in America know..." Jesse rolled his eyes and  
threw up his hands as he turned away. "Listen to me, I'm having an argument with a grown man  
over rock, paper, scissors.'"  
  
Stephanie stifled giggles with her hand. "Okay, come stand over here." She moved them out  
of the way, so the camera was centered on her guests. "We hope you enjoyed that little comedy  
routine. That's just some of what Joey does. It's a good example of what he did Wednesday  
night, right, Michelle?" She hoped Michelle would say something constructive.  
  
"Yeah, it was. So, Steph, how are we going to figure out which one of them marries Suzie?"  
  
Stephanie shook her head. She forced a grin, but inside she thought, "Oh, no, here we go back  
to that same old nuttiness." "Uh, well, that should be her decision. Suzie, which of the boys do  
you like?"  
  
Suzie spoke quickly. "The one who brought me lots of flowers and played games."  
  
"But I played games with you," Nicky declared.  
  
"And I picked all those Daddy lions for you," Alex exclaimed.  
  
Stephanie nodded slowly. Hoo boy. "Alex, you picked dandelions? And Nicky, you played  
games? Did you two wear the same thing all week?" They nodded. "Uh...Suzie, you ...how  
should I put this? Well, you probably didn't realize it was one once and...."  
  
"Steph, she likes both of them. Let her marry both," Michelle said.  
  
Where is Dad, Stephanie asked herself. She noticed they were still on the air. "Uh, well, she  
can't...I mean, in real life...well..." She ws getting quite flustered.  
  
Nicky looked at Alex. "When we get older, let's marry twins."  
  
"That will solve it." Alex and Nicky walked off on either side of Suzie, with Jesse and Joey  
following.  
  
"Phew, what a crazy morning," Stephanie said. She began to interview Elizabeth and Brianna.   
But, she didn't know if she could top the silliness that had just occurred.  
  
After a very interesting interview, a commercial occurred. Stephanie noticed that they were  
still without other guests, including Brianna's mom. I guess she's in the elevator, too, she told  
herself. Oh, well, she would have made a nice subject. "Boy, I wish we had some other guests,  
but I guess this will have to do."  
  
Morgan came walking onto the set. She'd been watching the proceedings. Stepahnie rolled  
her eyes. Just what we need.  
  
"You know, it's great what you chose for Eliabeth to do, I'm really quite impressed." She sat  
on the chair opposite Michelle - Elizabeth and Brianna were now seated on the couch with  
Stephanie. "I think Elizabeth's had enough other accomplishments apart from this camp, though,  
that if you interview the two of us, you'll be able to stall for long enough.  
  
Stephanie pointed to the sign. She heard "up in five" in her ear. "Hi, we're back with Wake  
Up, San Francisco,' and yes, we found another guest. No, she wasn't you know where, but she's  
agreed to come on - her daughter, Elizabeth, has been on twice, now, counting this time. Morgan  
here just had to come on, she was so proud." Stephanie hoped, with this, to lead into a discussion  
of the Emergency Heroes segment Elizabeth did after "saving" Michelle. If all else failed, they  
could replay a very popular segment from several months back, about a teen who'd pulled an  
elderly man in a wheelchair out of a fire. She'd told Mr. Strowbridge to get the tape ready.  
  
However, Morgan interrupted. "You know, my daughter has won the horse jumping  
competition at Golden Gate Stables four of the last five years. But, the year she didn't, she did  
something even more amazing. I'm even willing to bet that maybe Michelle could have beaten  
her, because there is nobody in the world like my girl when it comes to saving lives."  
  
"Of course, she really just rode to get help," Stephanie tried to say. Morgan had kept calling  
and pestering the station after Michelle's accident. Finally, when Danny returned to work after  
caring for Michelle the week she was in the hospital, he agreed to let Elizabeth be on the show.   
He was just as happy as Morgan had been.  
  
That was lost on the doting mother, though. "Oh, but of course, her life could have been in  
danger, your dad said so himself. And she could have done it all by herself. ..."  
  
As if Stephanie's worries weren't big enough, in addition to hearing Morgan rave about her  
daughter on the air, she heard a hacking sound beside her. Please, this is not the time for games,  
she said to herself.  
  
"Elizabeth, what's wrong," Morgan said.  
  
Stephanie gulped. Elizabeth's hands were around her throat. Someone was choking to death  
on...well, on her show! As if things couldn't get any worse!  
  
Before Stephanie could react, Michelle had leaped out of her seat. "Are you choking," she  
wanted to know.  
  
Elizabeth nodded. She looked terrified. Morgan looked scared and confused; she didn't know  
how to help.  
  
Michelle got behind Elizabeth. She wrapped her arms around the girl. She formed a fist, then  
wrapped her hand around that fist. She stuck her thumb out, and began to push inward and  
upward.  
  
"What's happening," Brianna screamed, very confused since she couldn't see anything.  
  
"Come on, Michelle, you can do it," Stephanie hollered excitedly. She could do it if she had  
to, but was too caught up in watching Michelle try. She stood ready to help, though.  
  
Suddenly, after the third push, an M&M dislodged from Elizabeth's throat. The screaming  
stopped. Everyone listened as Elizabeth took several huge gulps of air. For a moment, her  
breathing was the only sound around.  
  
All at once, the area erupted in cheers. Stephanie hugged Michelle. Morgan hugged Elizabeth  
tearfully, than hugged Michelle, too. "Way to go, Michelle," Stephanie shouted. She explained  
to Brianna what had happened.  
  
"Oh, thank you so much," Morgan cried as she embraced Michelle.  
  
Michelle, meanwhile, was stunned. "You're welcome," she said slowly. "Wow...I did that,  
didn't I?"  
  
"You sure did," Stephanie declared.  
  
"Phew. Thanks," Elizabeth said.  
  
"I could have done it, but Michelle wanted me to teach her some first aid one day. And it paid  
off," Stephanie declared. As they spoke for half a minute, she totally forgot that they were still on  
the air!  
  
Stephanie's face turned red as she looked at the camera. "Oh...hi. You know, the little drama  
you just saw was real, obviously; I mean, you saw her lips turning blue and everything. But, it  
just shows how important first aid is. Anyone can do the Heimlich, even grade school age  
children like Michelle. You know, I'm not a licensed instructor, but..." She wondered if she  
could spend the rest of the time going over what had just taken place.  
  
Actually, she'd been such a chatterbox in grade school, she could probably use that talent and  
speak the whole time, if she had to.  
  
Thankfully, her dad and Aunt Becky came running onto the set at that time. "Hey, sorry we're  
late. Listen, some of our guests had to leave, but..." Danny began.  
  
"Uh, Danny." Becky tapped him on the shoulder and pointed to the camera. "We're on."  
  
"Oh, hi. Welcome to Wake Up, San Francisco.' I'm Danny Tanner, father to these two  
adorable girls. So, I see we have only a few minutes left. What did we miss?"  
  
Stephanie thought of what all he had missed. The comedy routine, Nicky and Alex "getting  
married," Michelle's antics, and of course, the Heimlich manuever.  
  
She couldn't help it. She began laughing. "What did you miss? What didn't you miss!"  
  
Stephanie was awestruck at the wildness that had ensued. As they explained what happened,  
and talked for the last minute about life saving - her dad could probably qualify as an instructor,  
he'd taken so many courses since D.J. was young - her mind swirled.  
  
"That," she said once the "On the air" light went out, "has to be the wildest show you've had,  
huh, Dad?"  
  
"Well, I don't know, there was this one back in..." Everyone began clearing their throats.   
"Oh. I guess you really want to get back to camp, huh?" She nodded. "Well, okay. I'll tell you  
all about it tomorrow." He embraced her. "Thanks for doing the show for me. It sounds like  
you did a great job. You too, Michelle."  
  
As Danny embraced her younger sister, Stephanie shook her head. She might have done well.   
She might even grow up to host this show or one like it. But, she didn't think she could ever top  
the stuff that went on there. 


End file.
